I haven't written anything in my notebook for a month. The exact time I was working in a particular studio. I don't think that's a coincidence.

Anyway, I'm raiding a few bits that I jotted down before my brain was sucked out via the keyboard in the energy-suck job.

Message to the world

If you want to say something to me, say it straight.

Want an answer? Ask the question.

Want me gone? Let me know. Want me back? Ditto.

Don’t assume I will understand from hints and cryptic words. I won’t.

A hand on a thigh might mean many different things - expect me to assume the most innocent. A ranted message to the world won’t reach me; if you want to say something, find me, email me, text me, phone me, but don’t assume I know the message is fore me. I’ll simply be assuming that it isn’t.

If it isn’t worth the risk of saying it straight, it isn’t worth saying at all.


Answers

If you could figure out a way to have all the answers today, would you?

I once had a friend, a biologist, who was also a Christian. I once asked him (because these were the kinds of conversations we would have) if he thought we would ever know all the answers, and he said yes. I thought it was a sad response. He thought it was the only rational conclusion. I wondered how this scientific belief managed to fit in with his faith. If humans eventually know every thing, then what room is left for God? Isn’t the idea that you have a belief in something without tangible proof of its existence?

We eventually stopped talking. My questions began to unsettle his beliefs; my conclusions upset him. I don’t make people comfortable.

I don’t want all the answers. I don’t feel the need for most of the answers. I’m a relatively practical person - I like pulling things apart to see how they work. At the same time, though, just sitting back and watching the beauty of something, accepting that even if I was to know how it works, I’m still just a part of the things around it and no more important because of that knowledge. Even if that knowledge allows me to alter something, that isn’t the same as ultimate control.

We are temporal beings. We do not have anything ultimate about us. And I find that comforting.